Sunday, March 18, 2007

Brahma-Muhurta Blues

I want to spend some quality time with myself. "Main aur meri tanhayi"-that kind of solitude. I know it might begin to suck after some time all alone. Haven't I felt only too strongly, the chasm that separates what I want to do from what I end up doing? Or the innate contradiction that plagues every thought that I care to think and every action that I intend to take? But truly, even though I begin losing it when I am alone (hence my automatic, ingrained fear/suspicion of the same), that is probably the best time I have whenever I have it. I can feel truly free and easy then, as I carry along my love-hate relationship with myself.

In fact, given a chance, I'd probably be alone most of the time with the backdrop of human inhabitation serving as an instrument of relaxation/merger into the cacophony/running away from self.

But probably given an actual chance I might blow it all, simply because I love it so much that way.

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