Friday, December 28, 2007

Why I Pray that Britney Spears Lives a Long Life?



CNN IBN has a recent piece on Britney Spears in which some big shit (did I mean to type 'big shot'?) analyst and addiction expert has averred that Britney's "bubble has burst" (wonder what he meant by that?) and that she is on a suicidal path where each of her recently bizarre actions (one of them being numerous visits to gas stations reportedly to pee) indicative of her fervent plea for help. If she commits suicide, she would have died young. She's only 26, you see!

I'll quote from the article which can be accessed here : Brit's 'bubble of illusion' could 'end in suicide'

"She's losing it now, and she's going to eventually lose it altogether if she doesn't get the help she needs."


Also,

"She's exhibiting bipolar signs and she's clearly fighting depression,"

...Brenner insisted that this might be Britney’s latest ploy for gaining attention after her 16-year-old sister Jamie Lynn's announced her pregnancy.

"Britney now needs to cry out for even more attention. She's really going for it. No one stops to pee that many times. She has a major problem," he said.
...

But the important question that needs to be addressed here is the following. Why has the great Nanga Fakir, the high profile, ultra popular blogger-in-demand whose mere name causes his enemies to shit in their pants decided to report on this?

Let us imagine that Britney Spears decided to kill herself tomorrow by choking on her own shit (a not unlikely scenario, experts tell me). Probably a lot of horny teens will lose their idol. Hers will be considered a tragic suicide, another case of a musical sensation deciding to end her life early. And that is where the trouble will start.

Commentators will instantly put her in the league of those that died early-Duane Allman (25) (of The Allman Brothers Band), Jim Morrison (The Doors), Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Kurt Cobain (Nirvana) (all when they were 27-the age when I think Britney Spears will choke on her shit), Ronnie Van Zant (29) (Lynyrd Skynyrd), Jeff Buckley (30) and Layne Staley (Alice in Chains) (32). And that is when (I prophesy) hordes of techies will rip their shirts off, howl at the top of their lungs, destroy their cubicles, sift through the junk in their homes to find their Kurt Cobain/Jim Morrison T-shirts they hadn't worn in a long time, don them proudly and march on the streets of Kormangala and mourn her inclusion in the holy pantheon. And the damned commentators will 'interpret' this act as a march of Britney Spears fans.

Now would THAT SUCK!!!

Let the 'one more time baby' live through at least forty. After that, we don't care shit. Do we?

5 comments:

Tarun R said...

"... a march of Britney Spears fans."
Now that I would like to see!

And yes, she should live over 50 and be as irrelevant to music as Mick Jagger and his elderly crew.

Safari Al said...

What the hell happened to female infanticide when she was born?

zephyrman said...

yes let her live...definitely.only it would be better if somehow it could be arranged for her to lose her voice box.she wont be polluting music music anymore and running naked will be the only form of 'shouting' she will be able to do.

what say to that??

AJEY said...

wow
even i was thinking about the implications of her dying young and being included in the death@27 club.
creepy minds think alike huh??

Nanga Fakir said...

@Ajey: Looks like it!