Sunday, September 30, 2007

Truly Dystopic!



This piece is intended for those friends who have it in their mind to embark upon an academic/research career. Please read carefully.

"The American academic scientist earns less than an airplane mechanic, has less job security than a drummer in a boy band, and works longer hours than a Bolivian silver miner."

Boy does this guy give me the shivers!

This story
highlights the life of a SUNY Buffalo PhD who decided his calling was the job of a convenience store clerk.

This site debunks the myth of a desperate labour shortage in the Software Sector.

PS: The career guide for the as yet unslaughtered.

PPS: Also read this "No PhDs need apply"

PPPS: Play The Game at this guy's website to find how big a loser you are. The average score is 32. I scored -18. Really funny. If you're a Science Fiction freak, single, loner and generally consider yourselves to be inept at handling the opposite sex conversationally or otherwise then expect stern responses from the cyberdate and a comfortably negative score.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

The Stuff Movies are Made of-A Veritable "Anand" Redux

See Randy Pausch, the pioneer of Computer Human Interface, delivering his Last Lecture (literally) at CMU.

Delivered on 18th September 2007, this is video makes him a rockstar of the scientific community putting him in the league of scientists like Richard Feynman, George Gamow, and Gian Carlos Rota. Bravo!

Take hundred minutes out of your schedule and watch this video. You owe it to yourself.

Monday, September 24, 2007

Batman: The Dark Knight Returns

I like Frank Miller because he takes comic books so seriously that the term 'comic' becomes a misnomer. A totally reinvented, old, brooding, semi-cruel, dark Batman greets you in his return from retirement. The change is apparent in the following images taken from the comic:













It is significant because Batman too had become a victim of caricature especially in the Batman TV Series where guest stars from Hollywood indulged in generous overacting as The Riddler, The Joker, The Penguin etc (Vincent Price starred as Egghead in one such episode). Adam West starred as Batman and Burt Ward was Robin. It was all in the tradition of 'healthy entertainment for kids' and all. (I remember during the mid '90s, sitting in front of TV and waiting for the series to begin desperately on Star TV (Ma always used to confuse the beginning for the end of the episode)). Batman used to beat the shit out of all the villains and there on top of the screen were green coloured alphabets that read "POW", "BOFF" etc with cheesy music accompanying it.

Ahh...those were the best days of my life!

But I grew up and apparently, so did Batman. Christopher Nolan with his Batman movies ("Batman Begins" and the yet unreleased "Batman Returns") is one of the few (along with Tim Burton who made the '89 Batman movie) who are doing justice to the vision of Frank Miller.

Let's end by some more old Batman pictures eh? (Insert "POW", "BOFF", "WHAM" etc wherever appropriate)









Monday, September 17, 2007

Guess what I stumbled upon?

This is what I came across while casually exploring the cavernous hollows of Youtube.

It has the great team of the DDFC performing the ultra famous "Ek Anek" video. Featured in this legendary Spandan '05 DDFC presentation are Anup (Founder-Director of the Shaktiman Fan Club whose membership boasts of 20 billion humans on earth alone!), Billa (another legend whose name inspires fear in the heart of the unbelievers), Josie (also known as Kumar_parvatam, Kala Pahad etc whose nuanced and balanced acting made DDFC the only club which could make the hard hearted, semi human species called Final Years cry tears of grief), Masti (he should've gotten married by now (?); guess what his wife will make of this?), Sardar (as the heartless Vyadh (=chidiya pakadne wala), Meena, Trivedi etc

What a find! Gawd is this brilliant!

Thursday, September 13, 2007

The Hungry Goat

Those who know me, know me to be a voracious reader of all possible kinds of things. "I use it as a means to pass time, that's all", is my response in defence. But this time, post summer, I have bettered myself. Within a month of my stay at the University, I have read seven full books and am well on the way to finishing my 8th. By the way, that reminds me of a bibliophile joke:

Two goats go to the cinema to watch a movie
After the movie:

Goat 1: How did you like the movie?
Goat 2: Not bad...but the book was better (satisfied bleats in unison)

The last three of these books have been (yeah guys, hold your breath!)
1) Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson
2) V for Vendetta by Alan Moore and David Lloyd (yeah the real one, with paper pages; not the .pdf you losers!)
3) Darwin's Radio by Greg Bear

Pandu asked me how was I able to get hold of these books, for you see, most of the new ones that I have read belong to that holy collection which Pandu, Nitesh, AK and I, being the Science Fiction freaks that we are, had been trying to get hold of. The answer is the Science Fiction Forum at the University.

Basically they are a set of really cool guys who share the same passion for science fiction that we had back there at Surathkal. But they are not lazy bums like us who were content with the .pdf graphic novels and SF anime (that Panda and Ra used to supply us with) and the Science Fiction library of Professor Timothy Poston (which by the way, was by no means small). They are dynamic, armed with more resources than the annual budget of a decently sized Indian University and they are willing to share which makes them totally cool. Hats off to them...

Snow Crash is a real nice cyberpunk book but still pales in comparison to what I believe is the greatest Science Fiction book-Neuromancer-the most compact, concise, brilliant, dark and (most importantly?) dystopic science fiction I've read. Snow Crash kicks ass too by the way. It amalgamates many divergent and totally unrelated topics into the cyberpunk sensitivity and has a brilliant, wry sense of humour that Neuromancer did not have either time or space for. However, let me end by quoting from one of the best opening lines ever for a novel (Neuromancer)

“The sky above the port was the colour of television, tuned to a dead channel”.



About V for Vendetta: the duo of Alan Moore and David Lloyd have created a masterpiece of sorts (I concur with the goats and think that the book was better). I finished the book with an evil smirk stuck on my face. Totally satisfying! Goats are wise!

It is ironical that the comic book was far more mature and subtle than the movie where everything is caricatured. The Fascist Leader is totally evil, V is more a freedom fighter than an anarchist and The Party captures power by nerve gas detonations or something and not the fair way through democratic elections as is shown in the graphic novel.

Darwin's Radio will be covered sometime later. Let me mention however, that it is one of the few books that was mentioned favourably in the magazine Nature for having portrayed things as they are.

Well, while you losers slug it out in the real world sitting in your cubicles programming for giant code factories for people whom you've not seen and probably will never know, I am on this SF mission.

Let me get back to you when I've finished the Sandman Series. (L to you!)

Books read during Fall '07

1) Snow Crash (Neal Stephenson)
2) V for Vendetta (Alan Moore and David Lloyd)
3) Darwin's Radio (Greg Bear)
4) Batman: The Dark Knight Returns (Frank Miller)
5) Ronin (Frank Miller)
6) Top 10: Book 1 (Alan Moore and Gene Ha)
7) Top 10: Book 2 (Alan Moore and Gene Ha)
8) We (Yevgeny Zamyatin)
9) Software (Rudy Rucker)
10)Flow My Tears the Policeman Said (Philip K Dick)
11)The Master and Margarita (Mikhail Bulgakov)
12)The Divine Invasion (Philip K Dick)
13)Ubik (Philip K Dick)
14)The Peace War (Vernor Vinge)
15)The Cathedral and the Bazaar (Eric S Raymond)

Monday, September 10, 2007

L'd

Maybe it's all an elaborate joke played on me by god but the place where I live is called Chapin Apts and I wasn't very surprised when I learnt that I was allotted the L block...

Yes...L'd again!

Top Bass Lines

I think that the three top bass lines ever are:

Born Under a Bad Sign (Jimi Hendrix)
Echoes (Pink Floyd) (the 'ding tinga...ti ding ding tinga' part)
Heard it through the Grapevine (Creedence Clearwater Revival) (the eleven minute cover of the Marvin Gaye song)

These are such artfully constructed bass pieces that they seem perfect for just any kind of guitar solo and obviously the sheer genius of the bands lay in providing just such a screeching, wailing solo.

I wonder if others will agree with me...

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Of Anwar, Lucknow, B Grade Townships in recent movies and the likes


I saw "Anwar" a few days ago. I didn't want to write about it because I was feeling lazy and I thought it did not deserve mention. But it kept hovering over my mind and there were many things about the movie that kept coming back to me. And yes, the movie has much of Lucknow in it. Given that not many movies mention the city and the few that do, often go back in time and dwell on the famous Lucknawi tehzeeb and nautch girls etc (a notable exception is "Main, Meri Patni aur Woh" which captures beautifully daily life in a small, upcoming and growing city) I thought I gotta write about this.



The first thing you'll notice is the absolutely topnotch album of the movie by a guy called Mithoon (exceptions are the atrocious songs "Bungla Khulla khulla" and "Maula Mere Maula(remix)") but more about this later.

I want to first talk about the Director here. The guy is Manish Jha and has to his credit a previous movie called "Matrubhoomi" which I remember clearly, polarised the movie watching junta of our hostel into those who had liked the movie and those who simply couldn't stop laughing at what the movie turned out to be (Nitesh was in the laughter gang). I didn't see the movie but was intrigued. Hence when I came to know that this guy has made another movie, and that too about Lucknow, I grabbed the chance to view it (online!).

The Directorial vision, in my view, in deeply flawed. I'll tell you why. Basically, most important characters are in deep shit on account of their love life. This is one common thread that connects all major characters. Vijay Raaj meets his sorry end because the cute dramatics chick tells him that he is a bhikhari, the local junta gets fucked and Valentine Day celebrations turn sour because the minister gets L'd by the wife of the IAS officer (incidentally all love lives in this movie get fucked on Valentine's Day...some kind of fancy symbolism on the part of the Director?), the hero, obviously suffers on account of his love for the cute Nauheed Cyrusi who, incidentally, looks delectably cute in the movie, most of all in the "Maula Mere Maula" song, which in turn is what a beautiful song. Manisha Koirala longingly takes out a picture of Sushant Singh (who never comes up in this movie again apart from this photo) and is shown to have broken up with her boyfriend or something, the SP harps upon his wife dying due to Cancer and he not being able to do shit about it...basically no end of this sorry state of affairs, all due to stupid love problems.

Now all this is not bad per se. And I think the Director is trying to say that even after this shit, love is cool etc. Again, not bad by itself, but in the Universe of Manish Jha, politicians are evil, scheming villains trying to take control of the world (or India as the case may be) just like The Joker or The Penguin would try to do the same in Batman Comics or what Daku Gobar Singh and his sidekick Dhamaka Singh would try to do in the homegrown comic world of Chacha Chaudhary. He would also want a comedian like Rajpal Yadav to indulge in lameass comedy and totally forget what happened to him in between the movie (he totally vanishes after a certain point in the movie and what happens to his efforts to nab Osama bin Laden etc is something that the Director seems to have forgotten to mention).

The basic criticism of the movie is that it lacks subtlety. It has to be loud mouthed about every which sensibility that the Director cares to speak about and this is what pisses me off most. The Director is not without talent. Certainly, I would definitely see his next movie (again, probably online) even after all this but I would expect that he understand that evil, bad criminals and politicians don't act that way brazenly, even if they pride themselves on being evil and bad and have taken up office only because they are in the pay of Pakistani intelligence agencies. It also looks like that a lot of serious editing has been done and many things have been left incomplete (Manisha Koirala's role and Rajpal Yadav's etc are examples) and the basic premise of the movie-the suspicion of terrorism and the follow up to that on the basis of some stupid sketches is laughable. Even evil, criminally insane ministers of god-forsaken states (like UP, Bihar and Orissa) would never create such a ruckus based on that flimsy piece of evidence.

If this was all that the movie had to offer, I would have not written about it, nor would this movie have occupied my mind for such a long time. Actually every other thing apart from the above in this movie is wonderfully done. It captures very smartly the atmosphere of Lucknow, its ruins, its dilapidated, no longer paid attention to mausoleums and palaces. All this is done not in an obtrusive way, not in loudmouthed way that could've meant "Hell, we're shooting in Lucknow, so you've got to see this". This subtlety is thoroughly lacking in the other departments of the movie. The dialogues sometimes sound corny but not corny enough to receive flak. The movie also has a good story and does a decent job of telling it. It also takes a very good and informed look of the ambience of UP, the villagers that dwell in there, the ways they are manipulated, the local flavour of the love story, the interesting side love story, the betrayal, the redemption-all of it adapted well to the setting that must have been chosen very carefully etc. This is something only those who would've stayed in UP for a long time and absorbed all of its nuances could've done.

And yes, the soundtrack. With the exception of the two aforementioned songs, it is a gem. Roop Kumar Rathod has sung a memorable "Maula Mere Maula" in the highest traditions of Sufi music. The song itself is picturised in a brilliant way and all that is good and beautiful about Lucknow comes forcefully to haunt you during the time the song plays. Ra, if you're reading this and you come to see this movie, you will clearly be able to spot the Ambedkar stadium in the song where we spent that scorching afternoon in the 43 degree hot sun. You will also see the places we went to in Old Lucknow when we visited Zebi, the old Imambara, the old homes that many people in Lucknow still live in, the dirty and green/black-with-moss/sludge Gomti and the many minars and ruins that are interspersed, so to say, throughout the timeline of the movie.

The song sounds particularly wonderful to my ears because probably it reminds me of the brilliant trip to Nainitaal that Himanshu and I made during summer '07 where I first heard the song.

I am providing a link to the movie. You can view it online on Google videos. The song "Maula Mere Maula" lasts from the 43rd minute to the 49th minute (for those who want to see the brilliant song/video). Here it is.

Basically this movie is another in what is now a rather long list of movies, mainly by young Turks of the Hindi Film Industry. Examples that come to mind are "Main Madhuri Dikshit Ban_na Chahti Hoon", "Main, Meri Patni aur Woh" (both by Chandan Arora), "Iqbal", "Dor" (both by Nagesh Kukunoor), "Bunty aur Babli" (maybe...(Shaad Ali), "Omkara" (Vishal Bharadwaj) "Haasil" (I forget the name of the Director here but the first half of the movie was brilliant and Irfan Khan as the Student Leader of Allahabad University kicked ass!) etc. All these movies have given the Hindi Film Industry a strong boost by making use of creativity and showing the viewers some artful, artsy yet quintessentially commercial cinema. Cheers to the new face of Bollywood.

Sunday, September 02, 2007

Books read before Fall '07

1) The Left Hand of Darkness (Ursula K Le Guin)
2) Heart of Darkness (Joseph Conrad)
3) Fathers and Sons (Ivan Turgenev)
4) The Monk who Sold his Ferrari (Robin Sharma)
5) The End of Poverty: Economic Possibilities for Our Times (Jefferey Sachs)

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

My Generation

This is probably going to be my last post in a long time as I cannot say for certain how much spare time I will have on my hands from now on. I could be...busy (or worse, lazy)!

Hence I take this opportunity to dedicate this post to My Generation, to the generation of the urban Indian youth, to the generation conned into doing engineering, to the generation of brilliant brains losing a hopeless battle against drudgery and monotony, to the generation now in thralls of evil corporations that have enslaved their minds with false promises of beautiful futures...

Salutations friends...those who succumbed (most),

Salutations friends...those who fought free (Pandu etc),

Salutations friends...those hoping to fight free (Somnath, Ra, Nitesh etc),

Salutations friends...those wise enough not to be conned (Zebi etc),

Salutations friends...those who rode the demon and drove it to its end (Bakchu etc),

Salutations friends...those who showed the demon the middle finger (Bacat etc)

Salutations guys! It wouldn't have been the same without you all!

The Indian Comic Book Revolution

This is the link that takes you to a journey which promises action, adventure, ground breaking artwork, god-level production standards and torn pockets that ruefully complain the lack of companionship of jingling coins. It is the world of Indian superheroes launched by Shekhar Kapur, Deepak Chopra and a host of artistes and designers both from India and elsewhere. The artwork, in particular is groundbreaking and way better than any comic book artwork I have encountered anywhere (yes, this includes those sleek Batman Comics and similar stuff). All of this for a price of 30 rupees an issue, which is, I think juuuust right (any more and I could not have afforded it!)

The titles are called Devi, The Sadhu, Snake Woman, and Ramayana 3392AD (yes, fellow Science Fiction freaks! Ramayana in a dystopic nuclear war devastated earth).

Though I had seen them at Blossoms in Bangalore just before I was to graduate and come back home to Lucknow, I decided to buy them when I saw them at Landmark at the East End Mall in Gomtinagar. I checked out some of the artwork, decided that Devi's was the best (it truly is! Believe me!) and hastily bought issues 2, 3 and 4. Some days later (today, that is!) I brought issues 2, 3 and 4 of The Sadhu.

I showed them to Ra (who had come over for the weekend) and Pandu and both of them agreed with me as to the brilliant artwork and the ultra high production standards comparable (if not better) to any in the world.

My personal favourite of them all is Devi. It has the best artwork and Sitapur, a random district in UP is portrayed as a futuristic New York meets Mumbai. Gawd, is it uber cool!

Check them out if you're the comic book fan. Highly recommended.

Friday, August 03, 2007

Alternative Harry Potter 7

So this is what happens. Abhishek Pathak mails "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" to a mailing list of a million people and I am included in the long list of nobodys. Being totally jobless, I decide to read it (yes, I have read the others too!).

First observation: 240 pages. "Weird", I say.
Second thoughts (?): "Nah, I'll read it anyway. The print's small, that's all!"

So I undertake a voyage I had never undertaken before, i.e., reading a .pdf while sitting in front of a computer. But anyway, coming to the main point, this two day intensive reading (and the consequent backache) left me furious since it turned out that this wasn't the complete book. So I mail Pathak and ask for the complete version and voila! the next day it is mailed to me. However, I wasn't ready for the shit!

Turns out that the new .pdf has absolutely nothing in common with the old one. No-fucking-thing at all! Flustered, I read a short intro of the first scene on Wikipedia and realised that the new version is both correct and complete. I go on to read the new .pdf and finish my misadventure.

This would have been normal had it not been for the fact that I was already wary of copycats and yet couldn't identify the fake one. It was so god damned intelligently written. And if you ask me frankly, in a couple of places better written than the original.

This is it: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (fake and incomplete) .

Yeah I know you're not going to read it so I'll give you a gist.



(WARNING: Spoilers aplenty!)

Basically this was so interesting because it had a couple of scenes of graphic underage sex that Harry indulges in! (Having second thoughts about reading the .pdf? Go right ahead and don't read what's coming on!). Plus it also features Harry in innumerable kissing, coddling, caressing and what-fucking-ever scenes (it was all so damn fucking mushy).

Quote-Unquote

Unknown Interrogator : How the fuck did you not know this was a fake, man?
I : Maine socha Harry bada ho gaya hai!

Siriusly (bad pun I know!) though I had doubts about this being THE Harry Potter book but they were proven to be short lived as they were only minor scenes (pun intended!) when compared to the overall mood/setting of the book. And Harry Potter was so much THE Harry Potter whom the readers know and Voldemort hates! Man, they conned me!

Neville kills Bellatrix in this version and himself gets killed. Bellatrix had, earlier, finished off the kid sister of Fleur Delacour (ignore spelling mistakes, if any), Lupin becomes the Head of the Order of Phoenix, Harry and Hermione become Head Boy and Girl respectively with McGonagall (refer instructions as regard to spelling above) as the Head Mistress of Hogwarts, Slughorn destroys one of the Horcruxes for Harry and dies doing it etc etc.

The fake is also remarkable in being able to anticipate a couple of developments that are actually there in the original. The location of the locket and the role of Kreacher, the funda of RAB (this one was easy!), the role of Snape (I had guessed this too!) etc were some areas in which the fake anticipates the original. It also had in plan a much larger and more important role for Dumbledore's brother (yeah, he's the Hogmeade barman in the fake too!). But most importantly it introduces the mysterious character of JULIE (yeah, Harry fucks her in a graphic scene!) and the strange cat of Ginny. Ginny herself is more mysterious and is given a stronger role.

The only gripe I have about the fake is that it is incomplete. Man, if I could lay my hands on the complete one!

Monday, July 30, 2007

Hilarious Tragi-Comedy

The italicised text is quoted from the First Edition of The Gulag Archipelago written by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn (translation by Thomas Whitney) and chronicles the mood during The Great Purge of 1937. Having been re-reading the book after about a gap of a year and a half, I was shocked yet again by the Stalin regime. The following excerpt would have been ultra comic, had it not been for the unbelievably tragic (even farcically tragic) situation then.





Here is one vignette from those years as it actually occurred. A District Party Conference was underway in Moscow Province. It was presided over by a new Secretary of the District Party Committee replacing one recently arrested. At the conclusion of the conference a tribute to Comrade Stalin was called for. Of course, everyone stood up (just as everyone had leaped to his feet during the conference at every mention of his name). The small hall echoed with "stormy applause, rising to an ovation". For three minutes, four minutes, five minutes, the "stormy applause rising to an ovation" continued. But palms were getting sore and raised arms were already aching. And the older people were panting from exhaustion. It was becoming insufferably silly even to those who rally adored Stalin. However, who would dare to be the first to stop? The secretary of the District Party Committee could have done it. He was standing on the platform, and it was he who had called for the ovation. But he was a newcomer. He had taken the place of a man who had been arrested. He was afraid! After all, NKVD men were standing in the hall applauding and watching to see who quit first. And in that obscure, small hall, unknown to the Leader, the applause went on--six, seven, eight minutes! They were done for!Their goose was cooked! They couldn't stop now till they collapsed with heart attacks! At the rear of the hall, which was crowded, they could, of course, cheat a bit, clap less frequently, less vigorously, not so eagerly--but up there with the presidium where everyone could see them? The director of the local paper factory, an independent and strong minded man stood with the presidium. Aware of all the falsity and all the impossibility of the situation, he still kept on applauding! Nine minutes! Ten! In anguish he watched the secretary of the District Party Committee but the latter dared not stop. Insanity! To the last man! With make-believe enthusiasm on their faces, looking at each other with faint hope, the district leaders were just going to go on and on till they fell where they stood, till they were carried off the hall on stretchers and even then those who were lef would not falter...Then, after eleven minutes the director of the paper factory assumed a business-like expression and sat down in his seat. And oh! a miracle took place! Where had the universal, uninhibited, indescribable enthusiasm gone? To a man, everyone stopped dead and sat down. They had been saved! The squirrel had been smart enough to jump off the revolving wheel.

That, however, was how they discovered who the independent people were. And that was how they went about eliminating them. That same night the factory director was arrested. They pasted a ten years on him on the pretext of something quite different. But after he had signed form 206, the final document of the interrogation, his interrogator reminded him: "Don't ever be the first to stop applauding"

PS: Sigh!

Friday, July 27, 2007

The New Delhi Diaries (Part 3)

DAY FOUR (22nd August 2007) : The Times of Victoria (?)

Ra and I took our leave from Zebi in the afternoon. It had been a very funny, adventurous one day trip we had had and both of us felt bad at having had to call it a day. (Incidentally, I forgot to mention that Zebi is putting a lot of my stupid, rotten and incredibly egregious stuff that I would not want to be reminded of as mine, to very good and productive use! Three cheers for him for recycling useless shit into products enhancing market value. Now there's an Engineer (or designer or whatever)!)

I had seen the Engineer's India Ltd. building while I was roaming around Delhi and had been reminded of Shandy being employed there. However, having not known his address and all, I had promptly forgotten about it all. Then Ra mentioned Shandy's residence to be close by and we decided to pay him a visit of sorts.

SHANDY has been the beacon of Victorian mannerisms and etiquettes in this boorish and uncultivated world. And he has been the only one to have known more about English language and history than probably a couple of retired professors in Oxford or Cambridge. Those who don't know him will freak out when they do. Those who do, will take comfort in the fact that he hasn't changed a single teeny-weeny bit!

He lived right behind the infamous charred remains of Upahar Cinema as a paying guest of a Surd who looks younger than Shandy but is actually 63 years old!

We met Shandy in his dhinchak A/C room and cooled off for a while. His 'errand boys' were from Bareilly and Kanpur (:P) and he talked to them in atrociously pronounced Hindi. He was a walking image of Lord Cornwallis treating natives with due deference, bearing the White Man's burden all the while! (Incidentally, Shandy's favourite writer is Rudyard Kipling). Ra and I just couldn't stop laughing. I wish I had a camera then!

The impeccable host that Shandy is, he took us to a restaurant close by and sponsored our lunch even though we were famished when we started. He then took us to the Deer Park which was close by. (It is a brilliant place by the way. If you're close to Safdarjung Enclave/Hauz Khas and have time on your hands, do visit).

We walked around the forest (yes, for all practical purposes it is a forest, right in the heart of Delhi!) spotting deer, peacock, ducks in their ponds etc while I told Shandy of the Series of Unfortunate Events from yesterday. He also took us to many ruins (they are right there in the Deer Park) dating back five hundred years or more and explained to us ignoramuses, salient architectural features and styles used in building them.

However, time was short in supply as Ra and I had plans to go to Gurgaon and visit my cousin Bittu Bhaiya there. So we hastily went to a Madrasi eatery and had some coffee (Shandy poured tons of sugar in his coffee...one two three four five six spoonfuls!) and took leave, I at least not knowing when I would see Shandy again!

Quote-Unquote

1) I: What do you think of Delhi?
Shandy: It is a city of boors.

(I fondly remember another such instance which was Shandian in a very forceful way. We were being interviewed for entry into NewsWagon and Sahil asked Shandy "What do you have to say about the level of English in college (NIT Surathkal)?"

Shandy to Sahil : Deplorable(!))

2) Shandy: Mr Dwivedi, I must say your English is deteriorating
I : (Sheepishly) Well, I am going to the US.
Shandy: That explains a lot!

Forty minutes of standing on the AIIMS road convinced us that finding conveyance to Gurgaon would hardly be simple. In fact Ra backed out and after literally pushing me in a cab en route to Gurgaon already stuffed with fourteen people, he bade me goodbye. He had not known that his company badge lay safe, ensconced within the deep pockets of my bag and that he would have to return to Delhi to reclaim it.

Bear Hunt and Chicken curry in Gurgaon

It's too bad that I don't have pictures to prove it but the Power Grid Township in Gurgaon is so much like NGV (National Games Village) in Kormangala, Bangalore that I was surprised at the observation (actually it's a couple of notches above NGV in most matters).

It was decided that I would be rolling there and Bittuya would begin making chicken the way he used to in Nazarbagh. His culinary skills have not deteriorated with the passage of time and tasting the food in the night was a veritable trip down the memory lane. Bear hunt was also organised and time was conveniently expended in discussing important and unimportant stuff and making plans for the giant 29" TV that was going to be bought and the Playstation that would make its appearance there! Bittuya's roomie was from Lucknow too and somehow or the other, I have the feeling that country bumpkins always have a nice time together!

Thursday, July 26, 2007

The New Delhi Diaries (Part 2)

DAY TWO (20th August 2007) : Another Day in Paradise

Had nothing much to do on the second day. Went back to UP Bhawan, near Chanakyapuri to get my bag from there to Vasant Kunj. Carom dominated the day again as all of us (Bholu bhaiya, Bittu bhaiya, Dragon, Nikki and I) sat there hour after hour bickering over unimportant stuff, demarcating areas on the carom board and assigning them to each one of us and playing with Eesha and Aashi. It was just like old times when we were kids and Nazarbagh used to be our adda.

DAY THREE (21st August 2007) : Lemony Snicket's - A Series of Unfortunate Events

I left early morning for Hauz Khas, in particular, for NIFT where I planned to meet Zebi who had my portable hard disk, CD case and many books. Ra turned up there too (He's coming again to Lucknow the next weekend).

I put my stuff at Zebi's and all three of us began planning what to do next and although we didn't know it yet, the series of unfortunate events had begun.

It was decided that we will attend the OSIAN Film Festival which was showcasing some good movies. Being a junta film festival, it was cheaply priced - 20 bucks a movie with complementary movies to boot! Ok, we decided, for the time being at least, this will be it!

My Tryst with the Intellectual Elite of Delhi

Well, so we decided to close in on the movie "Hanoi Winter '46", a Vietnamese movie by a Director whose name we couldn't pronounce. We went to Siri Fort and got ourselves registered. A word now on the crowd there. It is my contention that Delhi has the largest density of ultra cute chicks anywhere in India. I am sure most of you will agree with me when I say this (for those who don't, well, you just missed it!). Moreover, the mela of chicks (apparently all of them "lit" and all) was overwhelming not just because of the numbers but because of the charged "lit" atmosphere too. For a country bumpkin like me fresh from the wonderment at having been allowed in such a place (I still choose to call Lucknow a sleepy B grade township, which, by the way, is not a pejorative characterisation), it was an awesome journey all the way!

The movie started at 13:45 and we reached the auditorium at 14:00. However, it turned out to be a blessing as the movie was bland, uninspired and boring. We took our leave and began plotting our next move. It was suggested that since Parikrama and Bhayanak Maut will be playing at V Lauch Pad in Pragati Maidan later that night and that the ever resourceful Zebi would find us passes for the concert, we decided to go there when it began. Ra wanted to catch the movie "Curiosity kills the Cat", a Chinese movie he had been raving about for some time. However, since it was scheduled to be screened at 18:30, thought about catching on some good Dilli food.

So it was natural that the next stop should be Qureshi. To our dismay though, we found it closed. We turned on to Nizamuddin for the culinary delights of Kareem. That the Mazar-e-Ghalib would be close by was an added advantage. Zebi, Ra and I planned to humbly prostrate ourselves at the feet of his grave.

But as the way things go, Murphy made a cameo appearance yet again! Kareem wouldn't open until 18:30 and we were stranded. Hungry and tired, it was obvious that Zebi and I turned to Ra for counsel. And we were not surprised that Ra came up with the plan that the best way would be to go to the nearest Metro station (Secretariat) and go to Zaveri Bazaar and catch on Kareem there.

Don't ask me why but somehow we planned to walk to the destination (the nearest Metro Station, that is). After about 20 minutes of walking, we knew we were busted. Nowhere near where we planned to go, we decided to take fresh stock of the situation. It was close to 18:15, we were hungry and the plan to catch the movie was decidedly bust. Also we didn't know if we would get passes to Pragati Maidan as the dude with the passes wouldn't pick up Zebi's phone.

Some minutes later, we found ourselves back at Kareem in Nizamuddin. Incidentally, it had opened just five minutes before and the three of us, forgetting about the future and the movie and the rock concert, quietly, professionally and aggressively attacked the food. When the attack was over and Ra was wondering whether or not to eat the utensils next, it was already 20:10.

The Quest for the MacGuffin

Now comes the truly misadventurous part of the tale. Though specific information shall not be published here, let me say that this journey took us to some shady PCO booths in Nizamuddin from where we went back to Hauz Khas. Ra went to Zebi's place while Zebi and I scoured the slums of Hauz Khas Gaon for well nigh an hour in search of the Ring. We were back in the house much later than was expected of us. But, came back we did. And slept off the fatigue.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

The New Delhi Diaries (Part 1)

DAY JEERO (18th August 2007) : None

Papa and I reach UP Bhavan and sleep off the Shatabdi fatigue to rejuvenate and conserve energy for the VISA interview tomorrow.

DAY ONE (19th August 2007) : VISA Power - Went Got It

The line in front of the US embassy is long. Chanakypuri is beautiful. I find people stapling stuff on my passport, I am ushered in, fingerprinted, my identity - one more entry in a voluminous database - is preserved for all eternity. Line 2 is the longest. It says "Non Immigrant VISA" overhead.

It is funny to see Americans at the consulate talk in Hindi with the people who've opted for Hindi as the interview language. "Aap Amrika kyun ja rahe hain?" or "Aapka da_maad petrol pump mein kaam karta hai?" etc with a liberal dose of the all-too-familiar Amreekan accent!

My turn comes and I move to the window full of answers to as yet unasked questions. But the interview turns out to be a joke (not that I mind it!). A few routine questions : "What for?" (Ans : "...PhD..."), "What scores?" (Ans : "Whatever(!)") and my VISA is approved! What a wait for something this easy!

Then Papa and I went around seeing Dariyaganj, Chandni Chauk and saw fleeting glimpses of Lal Qila and Jama Masjid. Here, seeing it up close I began agreeing with Bajpai that Mughal architecture is so regal, majestic, imposing and intimidating that our little Lucknawi (read Awadh) architecture seems puny and uninspiring at best.

The evening saw us come to Vasant Kunj to Babloo Mama's place. Bittu bhaiya and Bholu bhaiya were also found there. Thus the rest of the evening was spent in having good food and lots of carrom/movies on the huge LCD TV.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

On Blogging

I was reading this report that said that many people now were leading two lives-one was the usual real time one and the other was that of their avatar on the internet. Shy, mild mannered and gentle people could vicariously lead flamboyant lifestyles, or else at least portray a semblance of flamboyance on their internet avatars and social networking (notworking?) sites. This leads to a cathartic stress release and acts as stress busters or whatever, the report said.

There are millions who blog. It is in fact, a full scale revolution in itself. You can expose your writings to a readership that potentially spans the entire human race! And going through several blogs on the internet makes you wonder what makes the writers pour out such intensely private thoughts and feelings most of us would shudder to remind our own selves? I am not mentioning the details of what blogs I came across and what specific itch the writers bitched about in graphic detail (at the risk of being overly dramatical: "chill creeps up my spine"!), simply because details, at least in this instance are thoroughly unnecessary.

However, all this makes one think too (yeah, I grudgingly have to acknowledge, sometimes, it's good for health!). For instance, could I do what other bloggers were doing? Could I expose (in the words of Winston Churchill) "my soft white (?) underbelly" for the whole world to glare at? I am pretty private about what I need to tell the world about myself and coupled with my profound sense of cynicism, skepticism and general misanthropy, I can't even think of doing that.

What then, am I blogging for? What is the purpose of it all? Is it an example of herd mentality (is it cool)? Or is it that I write about things that are 'safe' and will not allow others a peek into my mind? What do I write for? And especially, why do I blog?

The answer might lie in the fact that it is flattering to write your own thing and be read and remarked about it by people. However, soon this captures your mind and instead of writing your own thing, you begin writing not your own thing. Maybe this is good, maybe not. Who the fuck cares? I, at least do not! Also, having installed a hit counter on my blog, I have been pleasantly surprised to have found that some humans do actually glance at this blog once in a while. Should my blog be dedicated to these random, unknown guys who read it (apart from myself) and write stuff they might like? I don't know.

If you generalise the question as being "Why does anyone write?", you can get answers like "because I like to", or "It reorganises thought" etc etc, but if you generalise the question as "Why does anyone blog?", then I think the answers like "because I like to" etc become rather weak. I think one blogs because other people can read him. If you are simply fond of writing then I don't think blogging is the thing to do (unless of course, somebody keeps commenting on your literary style etc).

Basically, writing for pleasure does not require feedback and therefore is not a justification for blogging. Those who assert (all too often categorically) that they don't care if others read their blog are probably deluding themselves. If they were to say "I don't care if nobody reads what I write", I could agree with them, but not if 'write' was replaced with 'blog'.

All this, however, does not take into consideration the phenomenon of citizen journalism which is done solely for disseminating information by the author.

My blog is hardly an online journal/diary that will document Abhinav Anand in his many mood-swings, nor is this for Lit activities. This blog, I now declare, is for disseminating information about stuff I think is important/worth disseminating information about.

Over and out!

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Alternative MP3

At the request of so many juniors and fellow batchmates who shared that wonderful batch of (0)'07, I am proud to present "Alternative MP3". Thank you all for the appreciation!

Storyline: The following is written by the hero to the XXX female!

Sub: plz read this

Body:

hi!

my name is XX. hope u recognise me. i used to study at X in ur batch.

please do me a favour by reading this mail in its entirety & by not
drawing premature conclusions until u've read it completely.

my reason for mailing u today is that i needed to inform u something.this
should have been done long ago, but as the old cliched adage goes "better
late than never" so...........

what i wanted to inform u is that i have been in love with u for quite
sometime now(plz don't take it as a prank! i've NEVER been more serious in
my life). this is an admission i am willing to make after a long time it
should have been made. no-one--not even XXXX(who's my best friend)knows of this.

my sole reason for mailing and letting u know is that here in XXXXX, i
have fully come to appreciate the kind of feeling i've always nurtured for
u. i've kept thinking about u all the time while simultaneuosly guarding this secret from any other entity. i don't DARE TO EXPECT anything from ur side. i dare not! but i thought i would unburden myself by this mail.

i say it again-nobody on this earth knows about this & nobody on this earth will ever know about this. i have no hopes, no illusions-nothing of that kind at all. it's just to get a load off my heart that i am writing whatever i am writing.

i hope u r not offended by this mail. i am particularly cautious lest this should hurt or anger u in any way. i still am (though i don't know why!) mortally afraid of u & will never like to see u either angry or hurt. my unconditional & unreserved apologies! sorry!

i'm in no position to justify the kind of stand i have taken & do not attempt to justify it either. this confession of mine was of therapeutic importance to me & i think i'll be happy in the knowledge that u AT LEAST KNOW!

again i dare not hope but.......if u were to mail back.....just once........i'll be the happiest guy on earth
yours truly
XX

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Abso-fucking-lutely topnotch!

This is it!

Vishal Patel, you are God!

Accept humble tributes from nonentities like me.