Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Because a picture is worth a thousand words?

[Nanga Fakir had predicted this way back last year during the dream run of Rakhi ka Swayamwar and Sach ka Samna (see Girl Power, Moment of Zen and Sympathy for Lady Vengeance). He'd expected an Indian Jerry Springer Show to emerge but not a union of the same and Judge Judy hosted by the lady herself!]

[The great Greatbong has covered the story in detail. Do read him. Here's the link.]


Statement of Purpose:

भई लाइफ में टांग खींचने वाले बहुत होते हैं,
लेकिन हाथ पकड़ने वाले बहुत कम.
दोका (sic) देने वाले बहुत होते हैं,
लेकिन मौका देने वाले बहुत कम.

...गज़ब भारत की अजब कहानियां मैं आप तक पहुँचाऊँगी.

(Loose translation for the Hindi disabled follows.)

Brother there are many in life who pull your leg,
But those who hold your hand - very few.
Many who betray,
But those who give (you) a chance - very few.

...I will bring Incredible India's wondrous stories to you.

...When the plaintiff gets overwhelmed by her emotions and spontaneously walks out, delivers a soliloquy Shakespearean actors would be proud of, bares her heart open and expounds on the love between brothers and sisters; sisters and sisters and other assorted permutations and combinations thereof.

...An outraged audience auntie condemns the loose morals and rampant lying much in the spirit of Hugo Chavez decrying American imperialism.

...A shocked Rakhi Sawant after hearing the plaintiff swear on the holy Quran. Note the black and white background - a subtle nod to the black and white basis vectors that span(m?) the human nature vector space and give us such heartwarming TV shows that give us these naughty little peeks into the awwwing cuteness within.

...The maulvi saying he doesn't condone beating of children in madrassas. (Read: We don't have no sex with supple young boys in here.)

...The audience thirsty for blood.

...Dude says WTF?

[A little back story: Plaintiff claims dude is 'practically' a brother. Dude says "Totally". Rakhi Sawant exposes their lies by broadcasting their porn video (yes!). Turns out it was brothership with privileges. The audience wants blood. Dude says WTF.]

The only recourse now left to these two lovers is to marry. It comes in handy that the couple is Muslim and that the Dude has only one previous wife and just four other children. The maulvi blesses the couple and everyone lives happily ever after.

Which brings us back to this random Surd in the picture who gets up and sings praises of god whose presence was proven by this little romantic escapade undertaken by the couple. (Don't ask how. The dude is a Surd.)

And Nanga Fakir wipes his tears.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Dark Humor

#3 : You know he was so different before marriage. He used to do everything. Now he sits back and lazes around.

<*Quiet chuckles heard all around*>

#0 : So this is how women are trapped eh?

#3 : <*mock nod*> We, poor women.

#1 : Think of it in this way. It's like catching a fish. You lower the angle, lure the fish and then catch it.

#0 : Ha ha ha...and then you're done for life!

#1 : Not really.

<*Quizzical looks shared all around*>

#1 : Then you eat it.

Wednesday, October 06, 2010

Hello, hello, hello how low?

A somewhat sad little consequence of not having as much time as you used to have (cf. undergrad years) is that when it comes to consumption of art/entertainment, your ability to experiment, be adventurous and watch a totally arbit film on the LAN just because the title is redolent of a hot ninja woman massacring a phalanx of hideously deformed, bloodsucking zombies; indulge yourself a little and watch Hatim_tai, Himmatwala and Justice Chaudhary back to back; listen to Backstreet Boys' desire to want it their way; listen to "In the night no control, kya kahoon kuchch to bol" on repeat mode - basically consume something just plain bad/of dubious artistic quality - plummets harder than the price of BP stocks after an oil spill.

What the fuck's up with that?

In the words of Yuri, pronounced with a marked air of solemnity after the two hour, three dimensional disaster-of-an-experience also referred to in some circles as Resident Alien: Afterlife, "Life is just plain too fucking short for consumption of bad art".

It's a testament to the flatout wretchedness of the human condition; the nasty, short and brutish nature of existence; a reminder of the sad, inevitable end that awaits one and all.

Enough of the Ramin Bahranis however, the György Pálfis, the Nuri Bilge Ceylans, the William H Gasses, the Jonathan Franzens, the Roberto Bolaños, the Faith No Mores, the Eels, the Flaming Lips, the Snow Patrols.


Time now for some defiance - some deeply meaningful Judd Apataw flicks, some classic, soul shattering Raj Babbar films, some heartwrenching Sameer and Anjan poetry, some Jersey Shore.

A denial,
A denial,
A denial.

Saturday, October 02, 2010

Funny as hell

Here's an iPhone charger...for David Cronenberg.


Courtesy Boing Boing.